You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
