What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
