Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me i tasted like america
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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