Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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