I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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