Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I can't turn off my feet"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
