i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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