sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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