I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
