Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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