He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
time to smoke my breakfast
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
