I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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