garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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