She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
