You made me cry and you don't even care
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
