its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
