he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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