So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
