If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
