Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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