Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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