just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
