your parents love me but you hate me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
