Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
