Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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