If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize