Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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