Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
