honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
