I want to stick my p in your. b.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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