her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
