I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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