elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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