1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
