Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
