I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
