I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He passed out mid-signature
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
