He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize