Got a toothbrush?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
