Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
