I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
