U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
