he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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