My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
