My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
