you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
