Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
