I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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