they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
