so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize