Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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