Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
