you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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