quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
