Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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