Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
