plz talk dirty to me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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