How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
