Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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