I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize